Finally found my “Y?”: Yoga
I am ashamed to disclose how many times in my life I have admitted to being a “chubster” (I’ve coined the term, basically meaning glutton who often oscillates in body weight and is obsessed with sweets and food.) From counting calories, to bizarre diets I made up in my head in my teenage years, to turning raw vegan, to eating only locally grown food—I have been attempting to get healthier and to lose weight since I was probably 11 or 12 years old. Although sometimes seeming virtuous, all attempts were empty. After so many years I finally figured out why: my motivating factors were twisted. Deep inside it always has been for the physical; to lose weight masked in a valiant health quest. I needed a righteous motivation to get me to deviate from my family’s and my alarming patterns (I have written my entire story before, on one of those attempts I told you of : http://yolochallenge.blogspot.com/2009/09/self-challenge-and-experiment.html )
[pullquote align=right]Find it in your heartbeat, in your neurochemicals, in your religion or faith, and perhaps in your yoga. Whatever it is—find the focus. Be with others who are light-minded and can push you there. Lets not cure side-effects or the disease but the cause of it.[/pullquote]
Then, a moral slap in the face: I began doing Yoga. It has always interested me, and I did an occasional yoga class here and there but I had not engaged in the true yogic philosophy . Yoga always had drawn me in and this year it latched on to my core (and my core got quite , quite sore).
Yogis believe in acceptance, health and a pure soul and mind. The goal is translating this tranquility, love and god (power) within yourself to the exterior. How can I lead by example when I poison my body with processed foods and sweets? Now mind you, for this reason I don’t drink or do drugs (SAY WHAT!?) but its probably compensation to the carbs and sugar I like to ingest.
The more yoga sutras I digest (sugar-free, pun intended) the more I realize I have an external dependency that needs to go. Less and less do I look at a dessert in shame that I can not indulge and more and more I see it in disgust (to a limited point right now) for the consequences it has on my body.
Now—I do not write this to turn everyone into a yogi (sorry Christina) but more to motivate you to find a better “why”. Physical appearance is definitely a motivating factor, but a dangerous one. It is not connected to you spiritually; it is merely an end to a variety of possible means. For example, you can do cocaine and smoke cigarettes and be thinner… but where does this lead you? You can starve your body or purge what you ate using diuretics, throwing up or being obsessed with exercise— but are you healthy? Is your mind reinforced and is your perception of yourself a loving one? No. Therefore, you need a better focus and a better path.
Find it in your heartbeat, in your neurochemicals, in your religion or faith, and perhaps in your yoga. Whatever it is—find the focus. Be with others who are light-minded and can push you there. Lets not cure side-effects or the disease but the cause of it. By doing this, perhaps this weight-loss epidemic can die and with it emerge a wellness and prevention epidemic. The right spoonful of medicine I have needed for years.
I do not regret my journey, for I have learned and evolved my eating habits positively throughout it all, but I just wish I had found a better “Why?” sooner . My goal is to heal and fully engage my body to its potential while sustaining it for as long as possible.
Oh, and remember—shortcuts are temporary. Just as muscle memory in athletics, for prolonged habit change we need to rewire and retrain our brain through passion, positive purpose and priority changes. Did I just make up the four P’s of wellness? Please, no infomercials.